Journals281
Newest
Time for a proper journal entry!
7 min read
Hi! It's been a while, right?
I admit I'm not the kind of person to be uploading daily journals like I used to be a few years back, but this time I think it's maybe time I tell you what's going on lately!
Alright, where do I start...
Last year was probably one of the worst I've had so far- which explains in a way my huge lack of activity in the beginnings of 2018. But in a way it's also the year in which I made tough, but important decisions which helped to make the end of said year to be slightly better, and, hopefully, said good vibes holding on for this new year...
Tough start
To make it short, I think you guys remember I went through medecine studies, then to a midwifery course. With the years I started to question whether I was fit for the shop or not- tried to bring the subject to my parents two years ago, who didn't have the support I expected- so I carried on, with the same questions, same worries, and same anxiety... I kept messing up during my internships until I started to really get sick at the thought of returning to work there, until I had a real burnout last january.
Like I've said, it wasn't the best time of my life, since my depression and anxiety reached a state I'd have never thought to reach- Which made me take the decision to quit midwife studies.
My father was absolutly against the idea, but mom was supportive enough to make me go through all of this - despite of dad constantly blaming me for this decision for at least three good months.
And this bring us to other family issue, since I can't really say Dad has the right to complain about my choices since, he wasn't a really... loyal husband to start with, if you catch my drift.
So personal issues + family issues mixed, despite of the relief felt from leaving the midwife course, made me drastically at the bottom of the pit.
Climbing back to the top
However- when you're at bottom, you can only go up, right?
From these moments, I started to have a full control of my life. My decisions, my wills, my responsabilities. So I opened art commissions in order to earn some cach (and btw, it's still open!), tried to apply for student jobs (which I never got replies to, but oh well), and most importantly, seeked for my next course.
Because yes, the issue wasn't that I didn't want to study, but the course where I was before! I wanted to find my own path, but somewhere else. I'll never put a feet in an hospital anymore, that's for sure! (Unless I'm the patient, but can't say I really wish for that).
So I tried to enter an art faculty of my city- I was refused for my art was too cartoony for their taste. Oh well, at least I tried! However, I still had a plan B. In the meantime, I had filled a report to enter in a language course, since I love the english language and would be interested, if not art, to pursue a carreer in that matter.
What about now?
Guess what? I got accepted! And since october, I started back a new english course (right back to the start, however- didn't have anything which could have helped me to start a bit higher in the licence rank, but oh well) and I just finished the first semester.
I can't emphasise enough on the fact that, despite of how tough the decision to change course was, it's probably one of the best decisions I've made of my life. For so long I was doing everything for the sake of my parents, the sake of my family, the sake of my teachers...
It's enough. Now I do the stuff for my own sake. I took way too long to realise this, and now I'm getting a better view of who I am, and who I want to become. You can't imagine how relieving it is! I'm now way more optimistic and confident than I used to be, and I met some new lovely friends who don't really care that I'm a bit older than them- and honestly, said classmates being way more open minded than my midwife classmates were! It's so refreshing ♥
What else to say? I also got more into writting and RPing, and among all in the Rayman RP community of Tumblr who's probably the best community I ever fell on. If you guys read this, I love you so much and you're awesome! ♥ It definitly helped me to improve my own characters, story, and especially Clara herself, my main OC whom I started to gradually hate due to how flawed her story was- but that's old history now.
Oh, I also entered in theatre class, too! I'm finding activities or talents I'd thought I'd never have, such as writing theatre scenes, or portraying them. All these things helped me to grow up as a person and with my own identity.
Oh, by the way! Talking about identity- I'm not hiding anymore behind a mask- I'm pretty open minded about my own orientation and I even came out to my mother! It took a while for her to get used to it, but now she has been very supportive.
My dad? No way, he's been a dick anyway lately so... I can't fully blame him since he's a great father, but I can't say he's a great husband. Not anymore, at least.
Will I be still active here?
As far as I'm concerned, I'm not planning to leave this site- but between my new studies, and other activities, I can't say I can be very active here. But I still wanted to keep you in touch with my situation, to not give the feeling I just don't give a care about you guys- which is far to be the case, honestly.
You can still support me!
Still! As I said earlier, I have art commissions open, as well as a Ko-Fi account, so if you want to support me in any way, it's here! And let's say that with the lack of replies I get for a proper student job, I really need a hand financially speaking...
Thank you in advance!! ♥♥
Where can we also find you?
Here's a list of other places where I'll be more active- but I always come here since I take care of the Rayman group, so feel free to say hi here, I'll try to answer as soon as possible. ♥
Aaand I think I went through the most important things-
This said, thank you so much for your support - and a quick thank you for the bday wishes a few weeks ago!
Hopefully this year will bring better news- but so far I think I'm handling things kinda well, so let's see how this goes.
Take care everyone, and be kind to yourselves and others! ♥
I admit I'm not the kind of person to be uploading daily journals like I used to be a few years back, but this time I think it's maybe time I tell you what's going on lately!
Alright, where do I start...
Last year was probably one of the worst I've had so far- which explains in a way my huge lack of activity in the beginnings of 2018. But in a way it's also the year in which I made tough, but important decisions which helped to make the end of said year to be slightly better, and, hopefully, said good vibes holding on for this new year...
Tough start
To make it short, I think you guys remember I went through medecine studies, then to a midwifery course. With the years I started to question whether I was fit for the shop or not- tried to bring the subject to my parents two years ago, who didn't have the support I expected- so I carried on, with the same questions, same worries, and same anxiety... I kept messing up during my internships until I started to really get sick at the thought of returning to work there, until I had a real burnout last january.
Like I've said, it wasn't the best time of my life, since my depression and anxiety reached a state I'd have never thought to reach- Which made me take the decision to quit midwife studies.
My father was absolutly against the idea, but mom was supportive enough to make me go through all of this - despite of dad constantly blaming me for this decision for at least three good months.
And this bring us to other family issue, since I can't really say Dad has the right to complain about my choices since, he wasn't a really... loyal husband to start with, if you catch my drift.
So personal issues + family issues mixed, despite of the relief felt from leaving the midwife course, made me drastically at the bottom of the pit.
Climbing back to the top
However- when you're at bottom, you can only go up, right?
From these moments, I started to have a full control of my life. My decisions, my wills, my responsabilities. So I opened art commissions in order to earn some cach (and btw, it's still open!), tried to apply for student jobs (which I never got replies to, but oh well), and most importantly, seeked for my next course.
Because yes, the issue wasn't that I didn't want to study, but the course where I was before! I wanted to find my own path, but somewhere else. I'll never put a feet in an hospital anymore, that's for sure! (Unless I'm the patient, but can't say I really wish for that).
So I tried to enter an art faculty of my city- I was refused for my art was too cartoony for their taste. Oh well, at least I tried! However, I still had a plan B. In the meantime, I had filled a report to enter in a language course, since I love the english language and would be interested, if not art, to pursue a carreer in that matter.
What about now?
Guess what? I got accepted! And since october, I started back a new english course (right back to the start, however- didn't have anything which could have helped me to start a bit higher in the licence rank, but oh well) and I just finished the first semester.
I can't emphasise enough on the fact that, despite of how tough the decision to change course was, it's probably one of the best decisions I've made of my life. For so long I was doing everything for the sake of my parents, the sake of my family, the sake of my teachers...
It's enough. Now I do the stuff for my own sake. I took way too long to realise this, and now I'm getting a better view of who I am, and who I want to become. You can't imagine how relieving it is! I'm now way more optimistic and confident than I used to be, and I met some new lovely friends who don't really care that I'm a bit older than them- and honestly, said classmates being way more open minded than my midwife classmates were! It's so refreshing ♥
What else to say? I also got more into writting and RPing, and among all in the Rayman RP community of Tumblr who's probably the best community I ever fell on. If you guys read this, I love you so much and you're awesome! ♥ It definitly helped me to improve my own characters, story, and especially Clara herself, my main OC whom I started to gradually hate due to how flawed her story was- but that's old history now.
Oh, I also entered in theatre class, too! I'm finding activities or talents I'd thought I'd never have, such as writing theatre scenes, or portraying them. All these things helped me to grow up as a person and with my own identity.
Oh, by the way! Talking about identity- I'm not hiding anymore behind a mask- I'm pretty open minded about my own orientation and I even came out to my mother! It took a while for her to get used to it, but now she has been very supportive.
My dad? No way, he's been a dick anyway lately so... I can't fully blame him since he's a great father, but I can't say he's a great husband. Not anymore, at least.
Will I be still active here?
As far as I'm concerned, I'm not planning to leave this site- but between my new studies, and other activities, I can't say I can be very active here. But I still wanted to keep you in touch with my situation, to not give the feeling I just don't give a care about you guys- which is far to be the case, honestly.
You can still support me!
Still! As I said earlier, I have art commissions open, as well as a Ko-Fi account, so if you want to support me in any way, it's here! And let's say that with the lack of replies I get for a proper student job, I really need a hand financially speaking...
Thank you in advance!! ♥♥Where can we also find you?
Here's a list of other places where I'll be more active- but I always come here since I take care of the Rayman group, so feel free to say hi here, I'll try to answer as soon as possible. ♥
- Tumblr - Main account / Art account
- Twitter - Personnal (selective) / Art Account
- Instagram - Art account
Aaand I think I went through the most important things-
This said, thank you so much for your support - and a quick thank you for the bday wishes a few weeks ago!
Hopefully this year will bring better news- but so far I think I'm handling things kinda well, so let's see how this goes.
Take care everyone, and be kind to yourselves and others! ♥
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Taggeeeed
3 min read
Man, should update with a proper dA journal someday...
Buuuut not today. '|D
Quickly posting here since I got tagged by the lovely raygirl ! Here we go!
___________________________________
"Mme Mills, une voisine si parfaite", aka "Ms. Mills, such a perfect neighbourg", it's a french comedy movie about a thief/scammer who pretends to be an old woman in order to steal a rare and expensive artifact from his neighbourg... It was super cute and lovely, but of course most of all, very fun to watch! I don't know if they will show it outside of France, but if they do, you can give it a look!
The Mario fandom! I was a biiig fan of Waluigi back then, godness-
What a tough choice, both are cute! I guess I'll got for Hello Kitty because cat.
I actually have two favourite flowers, mostly due to childhood memories!
Daffodils and poppies!
Now that's a tough one... I really can't say, maybe some amphibians?
Sadly no, but I always love to stare at those in shops! I think it's for the best I don't own one, I would loose most of my focus, aha!
Why naming a movie when you can name a movie genre?
Disaster movies! And by disaster, I mean natural disasters! My favourite one being "Knowing", "Armageddon" coming at a close second. Most of people dislike these movies due to their inacuracy or due to how bad the scenarios are (which, I agree, are very american-cliché), but damn, the special effects always get me, I love it!
Octopus by far, I'm affraid of jellyfishes... I'm sorry!
You know that kind of sound that make your teeth clenched? A screen of a ruler against a black board? Metal scrubbed against a table cover? ...I hate this so much, gives me chills and makes me unconfortable everytime-
Oh, and snorring sounds. Definitly... And loud eating noises (when people don't close their mouth when munching)... Yeah there's a lot of sounds that bother me, oops-
My ears were pierced when I was a kid... I wore some very discreet earings, but at a point I got fed up of them and stopped wearing earings- would only pierce them again to wear geeky earings, honestly!
Not tagging, do it if you want? Not really inspired for the question either, so I'll leave you guys with the original questions above that I've just replied to ♥
I'll try to keep in touch with you guys later, but for now, take care! ;D
Buuuut not today. '|D
Quickly posting here since I got tagged by the lovely raygirl ! Here we go!
___________________________________
- You must post all the rules.
- Answer 10 questions that you have been asked
then create 10 more questions for the others that you have tagged to answer. Choose 10 people.Legitimately tag these people.
- What was the last movie you saw and what did you think of it?
"Mme Mills, une voisine si parfaite", aka "Ms. Mills, such a perfect neighbourg", it's a french comedy movie about a thief/scammer who pretends to be an old woman in order to steal a rare and expensive artifact from his neighbourg... It was super cute and lovely, but of course most of all, very fun to watch! I don't know if they will show it outside of France, but if they do, you can give it a look!
- What was the first fandom you got seriously into?
The Mario fandom! I was a biiig fan of Waluigi back then, godness-
- Miffy the Rabbit or Hello Kitty?
What a tough choice, both are cute! I guess I'll got for Hello Kitty because cat.
- Favourite flower?
I actually have two favourite flowers, mostly due to childhood memories!
Daffodils and poppies!
- If you could bring back one extinct animal species from anywhere in time what would you choose?
Now that's a tough one... I really can't say, maybe some amphibians?
- Have you ever owned a Lava Lamp?
Sadly no, but I always love to stare at those in shops! I think it's for the best I don't own one, I would loose most of my focus, aha!
Name one movie you really enjoy that everyone hates.
Why naming a movie when you can name a movie genre?
Disaster movies! And by disaster, I mean natural disasters! My favourite one being "Knowing", "Armageddon" coming at a close second. Most of people dislike these movies due to their inacuracy or due to how bad the scenarios are (which, I agree, are very american-cliché), but damn, the special effects always get me, I love it!
- Octopus or Jellyfish?
Octopus by far, I'm affraid of jellyfishes... I'm sorry!
- What is your least favourite sound?
You know that kind of sound that make your teeth clenched? A screen of a ruler against a black board? Metal scrubbed against a table cover? ...I hate this so much, gives me chills and makes me unconfortable everytime-
Oh, and snorring sounds. Definitly... And loud eating noises (when people don't close their mouth when munching)... Yeah there's a lot of sounds that bother me, oops-
- Do you have pierced ears and if so what earings are you wearing right now?
My ears were pierced when I was a kid... I wore some very discreet earings, but at a point I got fed up of them and stopped wearing earings- would only pierce them again to wear geeky earings, honestly!
Not tagging, do it if you want? Not really inspired for the question either, so I'll leave you guys with the original questions above that I've just replied to ♥
I'll try to keep in touch with you guys later, but for now, take care! ;D
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Croc 20th anniversary art stream [OFF]
1 min read
Going to continue (and try to finish in time!) the Croc drawing for the 20th anniversary! Which is today. OTL
Feel free to join in!
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Tagged~
4 min read
Got tagged by the lovely MixtroTabuu !
20 facts about you:
Rules
• You must have 20 fun facts in order to participate in this challenge
• You must copy these rules into the journal, status or wherever you write it and post it but it must be on Deviantart
• You must tag/challenge 8 other peeps into this fun challenge
20 facts about you:
- I have a speech impedency which often will make me stutter if I'm stressed our anxious. I'm very sensitive about it, and it took me a long time to accept it as my own voice since it was the subject of school bullying.
- I'm actually a midwife student! I need to repeat my last year because of anxiety and panic attack issues, but I'm in a good way now!
- My nationality is french! My favourite plates AREN'T french. xp
- My fave foods are fajitas and sushis!
- I'm one of the few french who actually love to talk in english, in a way I'll more likely talk in this language first, and only use french if some french followers are more confortable with their main language. Hence why I don't translate all my artworks! I used to before, but writing twice the same thing while most of my watchers talk in english... It wasn't worth it.
- Oh yeah, I'm a nervous wreck and occasionnaly suffer from anxiety, and at worst time can be subject of panic attacks. Fortunately it's getting better now!
- I have issues to trust myself too, but that's improving as well!
- My favourite animals are frogs, cats and owls!
- As you probably noticed, since a teen I'm crazy for villains, I'll always have more tendency to like the antagonists more than the heroes theirselves... Because my fave heroes have the bad tendency to die. >:U
- Talking about villains! My main faves are Razorbeard (Rayman 2), Baron Dante (Croc), Nitros Oxide (CTR) and Dr. Nefarious (Ratchet and Clank)!
- As you already now, concerning my sexuality I first thought I was ace, then slowy grew to find out myself as a lesbian! And not ashamed a single bit~
- I'm taken by the prettiest sparkle of the galaxy, aka my little star Haruka-Tavares !
- One of my dreams is growing up to be a good and proper professionnal as a midwife, being abble to mix it up with my artistic life, and of course, being abble to live in a collocation with Haruka! <3
- Even if I take care of childbirths, I, for now, would never imagine myself with a kid. Too much responsability for me, I'm already trying to understand how to take care of myself!!
- I've travelled only in Europe so far: Spain, England, Scotland, Belgium, Germany and Portugal! I would love to go to the USA and in Japan, though!
- I've discovered the universe of videogames when I was 5, when I got offered a game boy colour! I was so happy back then! Was a lot into Mario, then I discovered Rayman in Rayman 3 and here I am. x)
- My favourite colour is purple, though I also love red, blue,black and green!
- I mostly draw fanart, but I one day would love to be abble to come up with an original story and universe! ...When I'll have more time, though.
- My favourite kind of asthetics are steampunk and nature!
- Though I took seven years to come with a proper story for my main Rayman OC so this will be tough... Oops!
Won't tag anyone because I need to sleep... Do it if you like!
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Song Tag
2 min read
Got tagged by SafeGaming89 for a while but now that I'm back home I can properly work on this! c':
Rules: You must spell out your username, and for each letter name a song beginning with the same letter. Once you're finished, tag as many people as there are letters in your username.
C - Chandelier (Sia)
L - Le jour d'après (Chimène Badi) - French songs, here we go!
A - Americano (Lady Gaga)
R - Radioactive (Imagine Dragons)
A - All Star (Smash Mouth) - I'm aware it became a meme but I love this song so why not-
K - Kometenmelodie 2 (Kraftwerk) - You thought I wouldn't get this one right??? :'D
N - Nancy the tavern wench (Alestorm) - Niiice I could add this group too!
I - In the end (Linkin Park) - Little hommage to this group, it was a big part of my childhood ;m;
G - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (ABBA)
H - Hall om mig (Nanne Gronvall) - The joy when you can put one of your fave musics with your username!!
T - The show must go on (Queen)
Phew, this was tough!
Won't tag anyone, do it if you want, or in the comments? x) As you wish!
Rules: You must spell out your username, and for each letter name a song beginning with the same letter. Once you're finished, tag as many people as there are letters in your username.
C - Chandelier (Sia)
L - Le jour d'après (Chimène Badi) - French songs, here we go!
A - Americano (Lady Gaga)
R - Radioactive (Imagine Dragons)
A - All Star (Smash Mouth) - I'm aware it became a meme but I love this song so why not-
K - Kometenmelodie 2 (Kraftwerk) - You thought I wouldn't get this one right??? :'D
N - Nancy the tavern wench (Alestorm) - Niiice I could add this group too!
I - In the end (Linkin Park) - Little hommage to this group, it was a big part of my childhood ;m;
G - Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (ABBA)
H - Hall om mig (Nanne Gronvall) - The joy when you can put one of your fave musics with your username!!
T - The show must go on (Queen)
Phew, this was tough!
Won't tag anyone, do it if you want, or in the comments? x) As you wish!
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